quo usque tandem abutere, tech bros, patientia nostra?

“Uh, I left my mug in the conference room yesterday? Do you know where it is now?” asked one of the tech bros — I’m going to assign him a generic white guy name, let’s say, “Dave” — as he shuffled up to the front desk.

I burst out laughing, while our Admin simply replied, “No.”

Unaware that her mild response is the business casual version of, “WTF is wrong with you? Get out of my sightline NOW,” he continued to dig himself in deeper.

“I mean, I haven’t checked the breakroom yet, or anything, but, like, do you think it might be in there?”

Admin: “I really don’t know.” [Translation: “I am not your Mom. I am not your maid. F*ck off.”]

Then, in a master stroke of special snowflaking, he ventured,

“Or, I guess I could check the conference room…”

Because he hadn’t looked there either. In fact, he hadn’t looked ANYWHERE.

To recap: “Dave” misplaced a thing and then could not locate it because he didn’t make the connection between searching and finding.

Not only does this idiot not know how to keep track of his $#!+, he also doesn’t know how how to look for it — DESPITE the significant advantage of knowing precisely where he left it.


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