“Why I gotta slow my roll for these bald-@$$ pool turkeys?”
Today’s Unsolicited Lane Companion was a European gentleman who spent ten minutes adjusting his head-mounted heart monitor, another five wiggling his flippers underwater, and forty minutes — I kid you not — snorkling. Y’know, because the downtown Y’s lap pool is like the Great Barrier Reef of Indoor Aquatics Facilities. Or something.
If this were 2004, I’d swear I was being Punk’d. The other possibility is that this guy was auditioning for Team Zissou.