Night School II

Remember how I’ve been taking a continuing education class? No, you probably don’t — chances are, you’re here because you did a Google search for “catio.”

Anyway, with just two weeks left in the “semester,” I’ve officially reached my breaking point.

Yes, what you just saw is what I submitted last week. For a grade.

After months of vague assignments (“produce a news story” o_O), WIRED articles from 2007 about Web 2.0 and how one day, son, we’re all going to live in Second Life, playing virtual Texas Hold’Em with furries, engaging cyberprostitutes, and scoring cheap prescription meds and/or low-quality weed from student-avatars at a 3D replica of NYU, one of the crown jewels in this unprecedented digital utopia, and OMG online discussion boards in Sakai, which make the /b/tards of 4chan seem like geniuses by comparison (“Does anyone know how to access Twitter?” or “I have become aware of a new trend called ’emoji,’ which I do not understand but the kids seem to like it”), I’ve hit the firewall in Professor Professorson’s Writing for Digital Media.

Maybe once it’s all over, I’ll be able to come up with a more upbeat takeaway from this whole ordeal.

For now, I conclude: the Internet is not going to destroy journalism. Journalists are going to destroy the Internet. (Probably through Storify.)

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