Bonfire Night: This Guy Is On Fire

Remember, remember, the Fifth of November…It’s Bonfire Night!

I’m not generally one for Holidays, but I make an exception for Guy Fawkes because, a.) when I lived in the UK, I attended a bonfire night celebration and thought, “This is the greatest thing I’ve ever seen in my life: they just build a huge fire and everyone* gets drunk and somehow this is a holiday!” and b.) in the U.S., it’s not really a thing and therefore you can’t shop for it.

(This may just be retail PTSD talking, but the minute I walk into a store and see a display advertising “Don’t Forget November 5th! 30% Off All Fireplace Accessories!” I’ll forswear the occasion entirely.)

Unfortunately, since we live across the street from the Fire Station, we can’t go crazy with the whole bonfire thing.

So while My Fella prepared a tiny conflagration of twigs in our backyard charcoal grill, I set to work making an effigy. Here is what I came up with…*

"guy fawkes night"

Ingredients: bamboo skewer, beeswax, twine, dried rosemary, white rabbit candy, okra pod, cabbage leaves, sage, TastyKake

And then we burninated him.

"guy fawkes night"

And it was glorious.

*Absolutely EVERYONE. I remember dodging a gaggle of year sevens in their school uniforms, completely plastered on mulled wine yet able to chase each other while brandishing flaming torches.
**There’s not much point in giving a tutorial, since I just cobbled this thing together out of garbage and plants. I mean, literally ANYONE in the world could make a better Guy. This so-called effigy resembles a cross between some sort of handmade prison weapon and a voodoo doll created by a committee of preschoolers with dyspraxia (which, by the way, is the optimal lens through which ALL of my actions and decisions should be viewed). However, I am proud of the fact that IT WEARS PANTS OF SAGE! Also, a TastyKake hat.
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