And I Think It’s Going to Rain…FOREVER

"unc pit"

(I never thought I’d type) via UNC Clef Hangers

Now THIS is what the pit preacher was talking about.

And may I add, speaking as both a “harlot” AND one of the “ungodly,” I am extremely proud of what I’ve helped bring about. HOWEVER, I could not have done it alone, no matter how much education or premarital sex I might have had.

Blasphemers, homosexuals, atheists, communists, fans of popular music including but not limited to rock, hip hop, and jazz, abortionists, the demonically possessed, scientists, smokers, Muslims, Jews, television-watchers, women, “miscegenators,” fashionistas, onanists, and yes, even you, DARK SORCERERS*: join with me now in celebrating our accomplishment…

…which (I guess?) is bringing about the End Times, via the very same global warming that’s not-so-secretly just a liberal media conspiracy, as well as providing an outdoor pool on UNC’s flagship campus for the purpose of full-immersion baptisms.

Anyway, since our Pride Ark** is still under construction, I had to take the bus(es) to work today. And, upon literally washing up like a castaway in the parking lot of my office, trudged off to the restroom to change clothes, like a preschooler who’s puked all over herself.

Things I have noticed so far:

1.) No one is here. Everyone is at ALA. That, or today is a federal holiday I knew nothing about. (Though if it were, I’d have certainly heard from my Irish Twin, one of a handful of federal employees who doesn’t seem to know what to do with himself when he gets a day off.***)

2.) Our tech department — as an entity — really, really needs to stop with the polo shirt + madras shorts + flip flops combo. I was *this* close to stopping one of them in the corridor and saying, “Hey bra, you going to Island this year?”

But it is a New Fiscal Year and I am trying very hard to be less b!+chy.

3.) It’s still raining.

 

*It’s a big tent, the legion of the Damned.
**“I set my rainbow in the cloud and it shall be for the sign of the covenant between Me and the earth.” Although I’m no theologian, according to my personal interpretation of the Bible, this is basically the Lord saying He wants a Big Gay Party Boat ASAP.
***Should he walk the dog again? Is there something with a scoreboard he can watch? Could he possibly just go into the office anyway? Interestingly, “call family” is at the very bottom of this list.
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