Recently, I learned about our local transit authority’s Adopt-a-Stop program, and I have to say, I’m tempted to participate. And why not? They could use some TLC and I could probably get a lot of work done while I’m standing in the middle of nowhere, waiting for my ride.
Anyway, here are some potential candidates:
Option A: Stop #5972
This stop located along Highway 55, near the Red Roof Inn. I confess: whenever I’m waiting for the bus, I always glance at their weekly rates and calculate what it would cost to live there full-time. On occasion, I conclude that — if you factor in the shorter commute, the free wifi + HBO, and the fact that I’d periodically get fresh towels delivered — it’s probably a better deal than my mortgage (not to mention anybody’s rent). The only downside is that I’d never get to see My Fella or our menagerie ever again.*
Clearly, the 12 Inbound is the official party bus of the Durham Area Transit Authority — if by “party,” you mean “Waffle House breakfast washed down with a 40.” Good times, that. And if I spoke any Spanish at all and were a little less terrified of big rigs barreling down the highway at the speed of meth, I’d totally sit roadside on the guide rail with the Salvadoreans.
Option B: #5973
This stop has the advantage of location, location, location. First of all, there’s an actual sidewalk. Secondly, if you need a powerball ticket or a pack of smokes, you’ve come to the right place. Except you haven’t, because apparently this stop is a non-smoking
metal signpost stuck in a berm stop. I don’t know if anyone can/would actually enforce this policy, but I guess you just have to ask yourself how lucky you feel. And if the skies look ominous, that’s because they are.** But not as ominous as this:
If you said, “Wait, are those exposed electrical cables, snaking through a petroleum-infused drainage ditch?” then I would say, “Yes. Yes, they are.” Which sort of knocks the rose-colored glasses right off one’s face.
If neither of those appeal, there’s technically an Option C (not shown): J & P Memorials, a purveyor of grave markers and monuments whose rather ambiguous slogan is “for those who care.” But I think adopting that particular stop would practically be asking the gods to make you a hit-and-run statistic.