Going Nativity

I was so excited when I learned that Playmobil sells Nativity Scenes. (While I don’t really do holidays, I do have fond memories of both Playmobil* and my own family’s nativity scene, which — despite my brothers robbing the Three Kings of their gold, frankincense, and myrrh before indulging in a bit of lamb-rustling — remains in good working order to this day.)

So I obtained one. Here it is, in all its glory:

"No Room at the Inn"

How it’s supposed to look.

I could have stopped there, I guess. But I also knew that Playmobil made Advent calendars, because last year I counted down the days with the Winter Wonderland set, which starred a sled-pulling Santa and his menagerie of forest vermin, ranging from deer to raccoons to mice.

And now I must consider the possibility that a pirate-themed Advent calendar was not the best idea I’ve ever had, given that my fella is 35-going-on-6.

"Sacrificial Lambs"

“Silent Night, Holy–“
“Prepare to be boarded!”

And here’s a close-up shot of the melee:

"Drink Up, Me Hearties"

Clockwise, from left: Doves; Mary, Mother of Jesus; Small Angel with Megaphone; Shy Mule; Boy in Hammock; Drunken Pirate with Musket & Treasure Map

And here’s another.

"The Kid is Not My Son"

From left to right: Hungry, Hungry Hobo; cooking pot & open flame; Baby Jesus; St. Joseph with hatchet

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

*Once upon a time there was a little girl who, after years up0n years of begging her parents and writing pathetic letters to every saint or deity who might be sympathetic to her cause, rejoiced when her wish finally came true and she received the best holiday gift ever: the medieval castle. You know the one. No sooner had she meticulously set it up than her horrible siblings decided to stage a Godzilla attack on her fortress…and, roaring, leveled the entire thing. The survivors — including one knight, one cat, two horses, and one transgender milkmaid — had no choice but to dwell in the derelict ruins of what was once the dungeon with an empty treasure chest and a cooking pot attached to a tripod.

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